After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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