is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
