The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
