i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize