i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
