I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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