the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
