I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
