Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she peed on how many people?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
