I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
