All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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