Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
