if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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