apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
