Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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