like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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