So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
