Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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