is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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