On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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