Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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