My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
