I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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