it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
