Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Where is the hickey?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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