letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
