You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize