Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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