My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Farmville is her only friend.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
