no, he came in my armpit
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
