Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
