Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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