just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
