No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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