Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
