**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
