We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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