we're chasing vodka with high fives
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize