My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Two words: blizzard sex
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize