i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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