Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize