Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
