what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
