I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
