I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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