I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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