we're chasing vodka with high fives
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
