So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
