I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
