Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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