I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
