I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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