I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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