there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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