I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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