we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
