remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
