Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
