you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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