That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
