Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
