Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My penis needs a shock collar
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
