i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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