I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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