there's paper in my vomit.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
