Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
