I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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