; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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