two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
