How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
